The Gallery of Shame
Watch Your Step
Slick Comedy Ahead
Great. Just what we need. Another feel good chicky flicky buddy film date movie starring B.O. and the Iranian president Makeabomb Andidreamofjeannie. Again, it's the same old plot. Obama says to Israel, "all options are left on the table." And then when the chips are down and Israel needs our help, that's where he keeps the options, sitting right on the table in front of him in the form of a top secret battle plan to keep the Iranian Mullahs of martyrdom from going out with a bang before being overthrown by a military coup. See, because he doesn't want to "meddle" in foreign affairs until he can talk to Reverend Riot and Jimmy Carter. Meanwhile, the Iranian mullahs' strap themselves to the top of an intercontinental ballistic missile and give a boring monotone blathering speech about some guy that they say is going to climb out of a well someday or something and the sky will be on fire and you got junk in there about dead olive trees and they're talkin all kinds of trash about
dogs and how Atlanta should re-sign Michiel Vick. And then of course Obama STILL refuses to give a date certain for victory in Afghanistan. Then he won't let these jet fighter guys (that like to fly like an inch off the ground for some reason) refuel in Iraq even after he said they could. See, bacause the Russians hacked into his Blackberry and pranked him with a text message telling him that they were Beyonce and that she got him a magic lamp for good luck. Coz of the health care thing and that it was really Queen Latifah's gravy boat but Lindsay Lohan stole it but crashed and it was just laying in the gutter in North Hollywood. So then Obama starts to wipe some makeup or gravy or something off of it and SHAZAM! POOF! It's the ghost of Golda Meir! Looking like one ticked off genie. And she's wearing a team jersey that says, Kareem Paula Abdul Jabbar on the back. But it says Bobcats on the front. I know. It's Crazey. It doesn't make any since. It's like a bad movie. Kind of like Obama's
suspiciously lovey-dovey policy (that is reminiscent of a 60's Coke commercial) to make nice-itty-nice-nice with ruthless, radical, election steeling, A-bomb peddling rogue nations by sending them a fruit basket and an 8x10 glossy. Anyway, then Golda drives the lane on His Barackness and throws down the all time monster jam on him and says, "Yo, Barry, have you tried talking to the Ayatollah Mullets yet? I'm sure they would listen to YOU. Try takin'em to Dizzyland. Then cut loose with one of your way too toothy smiles. Then, give'm a cookie. That should work. SUCKA!!!" Then wearing little tutus with hammers and sickles all over them Billy Ayers and Louie Farrakhan sing another one of those bad Elvis songs from the movie "Harem Scare'em... bla bla bla. Not to give the ending away, but you know. Boy meets girl. Boy looses girl. Boy Stones girl. Same ol' same ol'. Everyone in the movie speaks Farsi, except Obama. He speaks Farcical. You might lose a little in the translation with him. That's because
he refuses to say the last syllable of every third word. Just like in real life. Must be a Hawaiian thing. I laughed, I cried. DON'T BRING THE KIDS!
Check Out This One
Hey Reid and Pelosi, could we have one of your famous Henry Waxman Congressional dog and pony show investigations into the sub-prime mortgage melt down that crashed the world's economy now please thank you? Or would that interfere with your COVER UP of the sub-prime mortgage melt down that crashed the world's economy COVER UP. Conflict of interest? Right. Anyway, good news. The baby talking Barney Frank is not letting his speech impedimenffpt prevent him from leading the charge for the legalization of internet gambling. Thanks to Barney and his boyfriend "Bruce" a V.P. at Freddie Mac (Talk about a gamble. No conflict of interest there.), the world economy has taken quite a beating. Thanks Barn, investing in the stock market or getting a mortgage loan these days is a bigger gamble than ever before. Personally I would rather bet on Rihanna to K.O. Chris Brown in the first round. Even better than that, how about a looser leaves town 15 rounder "Rihanna VS. Barney". "The Cover Girl Against the Cover Up Girl". [Little trunks and evening gowns provided by famed designer Oscar De La Hoya.] At least the economy would stand a fighting chance there. So pulling the handle on a voting machine for Barney is kind of like playing a slot machine. Only when you lose, so does the world economy. If you were thinking about putting a few bucks down on Barney's reelection, the odds of him hitting the canvas now stand at three in theven. With any luck, some fed up Chinese mortgage investor will pay him to take a dive. Then he can climb on his little broomstick pony and go riding off into the thun thet.
Play Audio
Play Audio
Excuse me. Nancy. Your flying monkeys have violated the air space around the capital again.
Play
You've GOT to Hear This One
Mommy, I wanna be like Obama. And SMOKE!
Here is an inspirational story about a guy that was stitched together from a bunch of worthless worn out political robo-commys by old hippies singing Chinese work songs at a Democrat party quilting party in Bill Ayers living room. I think he's got Stalin's liver, some of John Kerry's guts, his spine is a slinky so that gives him Jack Benny's walk. I think his head is filled with Lincoln Logs. Oh, and he has the lungs of the Marlboro man.
Yippee! It's the world's only Mel Tillis Junior High School debate team reject! Okay. The bit below was recorded as it actually happened. Brace yourself. Check out the nonsense that happens five days a week at the White House. It's White House press secretary Melvin or whatever his name is Gibbs, boring the press to nauseam. Not that they don't deserve it, but not only that, this guy is 45 minutes late every every EVERY day. And THEN, ENOUGH with the non-stop "UUUUH"ing. The Hyenas are about ready to make a break for it. If Obama picked this guy to speak for him, MAN, this guy must be the best person at talking guy ever. Right? Coz B.O. could get the bestest guy that can use his mouth to talk for the gooderness of the changing over to the Obama betterness way of doing of the things of spending the country into bankruptcy Carl Marx style and spreading with his mouth uuuh...socialism. Uuuuuuuuuuh... Coz He's the speaking guy for the leader of the free world. Uuuuuuuuh... Boy, he can sure pick'em
can't he?
THE TRACK OF THE DAY
Appearing one term only at the White House Booty Bar and Bunker. Come see the disturbing antics of Harry, Barry and Scary "The Marxist Brothers" in the newly refurbished ARUGULA ROOM. (It's where the bowling alley use to be.) It's out with Jackie Kennedy's 300 year old chairs with worm holes! THE ARUGULA ROOM has been furnished with fine genuine Naugahyde lime green bar stools from the exclusive Sanford and Son Collection. The Marxist Brothers will be performing their hilarious routine, "What? You Wrapped Up a Flounder with the Constitution? No Noodles For You!!!"
Laffin Yet?
Alrighty then Mister Jihadist. It's time to pull back the vale and see what you've won.
MEET YOUR 72 VIRGINS!!!
Check These Out
Play 72 Virgins BINGO
H1
Adam the Goat Boy from The O.C. contracted the H1goat1 virus from what animal?
Here is a great looking pack of Obama brand Russian cigarettes for ya. SMOKESKIES! The perfect thing to pass the time away when you're standing in line for three days to get a flu shot from Nurse Ratchet under failed President Obama health care. But instead of Joe Camel on the box... who is that guy? Oh yah. It's Bladderbeer Leninn.
Come on. All that this guy wants is stuff. Like Daffy Duck videos, Tiger Beat magazines or an old Bret Favre juicer. A Wham-O Water Wiggle would keep this guys mind off THE BOMB for like three days. That's why COMEDYZOO is announcing the charity event of the year. Tickets available at the COMEDYZOO box office FOR...
THE BIG AMERICAN GIVE KIM ALL YOUR GARAGE SALE TYPE STUFF AND OLD PASTA IN THE BACK OF YOUR CUPBOARD BAIL OUT OF NORTH KOREA TO HELP KEEP JAPAN FROM BEING NUKED AGAIN CONCERT DEMOLITION DERBY RODEO PIG FLU VACCINATION WET TEE SHIRT CHILI COOK OFF TELETHON LOVE-IN.
What are we going to do with this guy?
Send us a wacked-out picture. Submit picture Especially if you have a picture of B.O. smoking a Camel in the camel lot behind the White House basketball court.
Where to now? Hmmm? Hey, let's see if the HYENAS have escaped again. I've been meaning to drop off some big red wax lips and a tank of laughing gas to cheer them up. They've been kind of ticked off lately, ever since they found out that the White House rejected COMEDYZOO's offer to let those mangy Guantanamo terrorists bunk with them. The reason given was that playing twister and pillow fights are now considered torture. And they were SO looking forward to bikini waxing Sheik Ive Bin Altohairy. The Hyenas are fun. Link to them below, but don't look them in the eye.
