Great. Just what we need. Another feel good chicky flicky buddy film date movie starring B.O. and the Iranian president Makeabomb Andidreamofjeannie. Again, it's the same old plot. Obama says to Israel, "all options are left on the table." And then when the chips are down and Israel needs our help, that's where he keeps the options, sitting right on the table in front of him in the form of a top secret battle plan to keep the Iranian Mullahs of martyrdom from going out with a bang before being overthrown by a military coup. See, because he doesn't want to "meddle" in foreign affairs until he can talk to Reverend Riot and Jimmy Carter. Meanwhile, the Iranian mullahs' strap themselves to the top of an intercontinental ballistic missile and give a boring monotone blathering speech about some guy that they say is going to climb out of a well someday or something and the sky will be on fire and you got junk in there about dead olive trees and they're talkin all kinds of trash about
dogs and how Atlanta should re-sign Michiel Vick. And then of course Obama STILL refuses to give a date certain for victory in Afghanistan. Then he won't let these jet fighter guys (that like to fly like an inch off the ground for some reason) refuel in Iraq even after he said they could. See, bacause the Russians hacked into his Blackberry and pranked him with a text message telling him that they were Beyonce and that she got him a magic lamp for good luck. Coz of the health care thing and that it was really Queen Latifah's gravy boat but Lindsay Lohan stole it but crashed and it was just laying in the gutter in North Hollywood. So then Obama starts to wipe some makeup or gravy or something off of it and SHAZAM! POOF! It's the ghost of Golda Meir! Looking like one ticked off genie. And she's wearing a team jersey that says, Kareem Paula Abdul Jabbar on the back. But it says Bobcats on the front. I know. It's Crazey. It doesn't make any since. It's like a bad movie. Kind of like Obama's
suspiciously lovey-dovey policy (that is reminiscent of a 60's Coke commercial) to make nice-itty-nice-nice with ruthless, radical, election steeling, A-bomb peddling rogue nations by sending them a fruit basket and an 8x10 glossy. Anyway, then Golda drives the lane on His Barackness and throws down the all time monster jam on him and says, "Yo, Barry, have you tried talking to the Ayatollah Mullets yet? I'm sure they would listen to YOU. Try takin'em to Dizzyland. Then cut loose with one of your way too toothy smiles. Then, give'm a cookie. That should work. SUCKA!!!" Then wearing little tutus with hammers and sickles all over them Billy Ayers and Louie Farrakhan sing another one of those bad Elvis songs from the movie "Harem Scare'em... bla bla bla. Not to give the ending away, but you know. Boy meets girl. Boy looses girl. Boy Stones girl. Same ol' same ol'. Everyone in the movie speaks Farsi, except Obama. He speaks Farcical. You might lose a little in the translation with him. That's because
he refuses to say the last syllable of every third word. Just like in real life. Must be a Hawaiian thing. I laughed, I cried. DON'T BRING THE KIDS!
Freddie Fannie And Barney
Excuse me. Nancy. Your flying monkeys have violated the air space around the capital again.
Mommy, I wanna be like Obama. And SMOKE!
Jack Webb is on the Nancy Case
Here is an inspirational story about a guy that was stitched together from a bunch of worthless worn out political robo-commys by old hippies singing Chinese work songs at a Democrat party quilting party in Bill Ayers living room. I think he's got Stalin's liver, some of John Kerry's guts, his spine is a slinky so that gives him Jack Benny's walk. I think his head is filled with Lincoln Logs. Oh, and he has the lungs of the Marlboro man.
Appearing one term only at the White House Booty Bar and Bunker. Come see the disturbing antics of Harry, Barry and Scary "The Marxist Brothers" in the newly refurbished ARUGULA ROOM. (It's where the bowling alley use to be.) It's out with Jackie Kennedy's 300 year old chairs with worm holes! THE ARUGULA ROOM has been furnished with fine genuine Naugahyde lime green bar stools from the exclusive Sanford and Son Collection. The Marxist Brothers will be performing their hilarious routine, "What? You Wrapped Up a Flounder with the Constitution? No Noodles For You!!!"
Alrighty then Mister Jihadist. It's time to pull back the vale and see what you've won.
MEET YOUR 72 VIRGINS!!!
The Main Street Mosque
Play 72 Virgins BINGO
Adam the Goat Boy from The O.C. contracted the H1goat1 virus from what animal?
Here is a great looking pack of Obama brand Russian cigarettes for you. SMOKESKIES! The perfect thing to pass the time away when you're standing in line for three days to get a flu shot from Nurse Ratchet under failed President Obama health care. But instead of Joe Camel on the box... who is that guy? Oh yah. It's Bladderbeer Leninn.
Come on. All that this guy wants is stuff. Like Daffy Duck videos, Tiger Beat magazines or an old Bret Favre juicer. A Wham-O Water Wiggle would keep this guys mind off THE BOMB for like three days. That's why COMEDYZOO is announcing the charity event of the year. Tickets available at the COMEDYZOO box office FOR...
THE BIG AMERICAN GIVE KIM ALL YOUR GARAGE SALE TYPE STUFF AND OLD PASTA IN THE BACK OF YOUR CUPBOARD BAIL OUT OF NORTH KOREA TO HELP KEEP JAPAN FROM BEING NUKED AGAIN CONCERT DEMOLITION DERBY RODEO PIG FLU VACCINATION WET TEE SHIRT CHILI COOK OFF TELETHON LOVE-IN.
What are we going to do with this guy?
Cooking With Kim Jong Il
Send us a wacked-out picture. Submit picture Especially if you have a picture of B.O. smoking a Camel in the camel lot behind the White House basketball court.
Next we go to our totally cooked up half baked global warming exhibit, which houses some thoroughly steamed Hyenas.