This bit of "Gorey" science fiction could also have been entitled
One day Al Gore was walking in the woods dressed in a little chicken suit (for some reason) when — KERPLUNK — an acorn fell on his head. "Oh my goodyness!" said Al. "The sky is falling! I must go and tell the king." On his way to the king's palace, Al met Hippy Dippy. Hippy Dippy said that he was going into the woods to burn a doobee. "Oh no, don't go!" said Al. "I was there and an ice berg fell on my noggin! Come with me to tell Larry King." So Hippy Dippy joined Al and they went along and went along as fast as they could. Soon they met, Scammy Hammy who said, "I'm going into the woods to find a snake to make some of my Dr. Scammy Hammy's Snake Oil Sun Block Zero Ozone SPF 10,000. And to check the booby traps around my still." "Wait a minute dude!" said Hippy Dippy. "It's a bad scene in there. Al was in there and now he's wiggin' out. See, his college professor came up with this hare brained idea that the world was fryi ng. Pretty much just so he would have something to rap about to hippie chicks. BUT, that day in class Al just happened to be on orange sunshine and made the mistake of opening his zoology book to a picture of a walrus. Then he totally freaked and screamed like a little girl "Look! It's David Crosby with fangs!" And ever since then he's been on a bad trip thinking that the walruses are melting. So come with us to tell George Soros. Got any rolling papers?" So Scammy Hammy said "Holy Toledo. Look at his pupils." Then he yelled loudly in Al's ear "Yo! Albert, when you were in the woods, did you eat the mushrooms?" Then Hippy Dippy, Scammy Hammy and the former Vice President of the United States of America went along and went along as fast as Al could walk. Soon they met Millie Vanillie, who was planning to go into the woods to practice trying to sing where no one could throw vegetables that had rotted from the sweltering heat at them. The new long awaited Millie Vanillie single is entitled Get Down with the Melt Down Karaoke Lip Sync. "Oh no, don't go!" said Wavey Gravey. "There's an Amway salesman in there selling carbon credits to reduce the size of your carbon foot print. But they are really just Oder Eaters for kids! Come with us to tell The New York Times." So Millie Vanillie said, "Hi. This is Millie Vanillie speaking to you about global warming... Uh ya, that should work." So, The All-Star Global Warming Wrecking Crew went shleppin' down the bunny trail. Then who should appear on the path but Sly Old F.B.I. Guy. "Yo!, Loco Pollo! Hey Chicken Boy!! Ya you. Freeze." He spoke in a polite manner, so as not to be accused of torturing them. Al said, "The universe is melting and blood thirsty penguins are chasing us! We must go to the palace and tell the Dali Lama." Sly Old F.B.I. Guy said, "Oh, hi Al. Could you take your hands out of your chicken pants please? It's for your safety as well as mine. Thank you. Yep, we've got a little crime scene clean up operation goin' on here. That's all. Hey Al, yo u like jokes. I got a good one for ya. Why did Henny Penny, Cocky Locky and Goosey Poosey cross the road?" Al looked up in the sky and shrieked out "BIGFOOT!" Sly Old F.B.I. Guy said, "Okay. Right. I don't know either. But for some reason our fine feathered flakey frolicking friends were jay walking in front of the hot wings joint when for some reason they stopped right in the middle of the street and started staring up in the sky. Then, here comes my grand theft ice cream truck suspect hangin' a high speed louie from Allison Blunderland Boulevard. Then cuts off a Humpty Dumptruck and SPLAT, feathers, fudge sickles and goose liver for ten blocks. Say Al, you don't suppose that somebody might have told them somethin' like you know maybe like the sky is fallin' or somethin' like that maybe? Hey, is that snake oil I smell? Al, please tell me you're not running that "Please donate to The Refrigerators for Eskimos Relief Fund please" scam again. Hey, tell you what, it just so happens that I know a shortcu t to the palace. Come on, follow me. Do they have air conditioning at the palace? This is great. We're on a global warming fairytail road trip. Come on guys let's skip!" But Sly Old F.B.I. Guy did not lead them to the palace. Instead he led them to a squad car. Once they were inside he was planning on arresting them on felony ECOLOGICAL RACKETEERING charges (i.e. the eco rico act). Just as Al and the others were about to go to the gray bar chicken coop they heard a strange sound and stopped. It was Attorney General Eric Holder driving up in a beat up old paddywagon filled with the Guantanamo terrorists.
Sly Old F.B.I. Guy says, "Hey Holder, your muffler is dragging. Say, can you take these greenys off my hands?" Eric the Great Holder of Terrorists said, "No way man. I'm just driving around the kingdom in circles. I've got no place to put these guys as it is." So Sly Old F.B.I. Guy says, "Are you ever going to execute these walking hair balls or what? Hey, why doesn't Obama just give'm one of his really really really really late term abortions?" Attorney General Holder said, "No can do Holms. We're a nation of cowards. Remember? Ha! Besides, my law firm is representing these guys. I guess that makes me the prosecutor and the defence attorney. Go figure. IT'S AN OBAMANATION BABY! Hey, is there a Mickey D's around here? It's their foot bath time. Which way is Mecca?" It was then that Al said, "I wouldn't worry about the foot baths. All the waters in the kingdom are rising." You might as well just park it and wait." Hearing that, the terrorists started screaming like maniacs. So with that little bit of doomy gloomy CLUCKING news looming over the kingdom, Sly Old F.B.I. Guy decides to cut loose Al and his band of merry meteorological mercenaries. He sends them on their way with a goose down covered box of half melted fudge sickles. Then scares them into the woods by blasting over his bullhorn "Attention all units. Be on the lookout for angry baby seals armed with clubs and bent on revenge." After that day, Al always carries an umbrella when he walks in the woods. Just in case — KERPLUNK — an acorn falls on his head again. He also carries a tube of Dr. Scammy Hammy's Snake Oil Sun Block Zero Ozone SPF 10,000 and a five gallon bucket of Ben and Jerry's phoney Bologna Ice Cream. Just in case he finds the Abominable Snowman suffering from heat exhaustion after haggling with the Tooth Fairy over the price of a mammoth wooly mammoth tusk left over from the last ICE AGE! Which (as all the scientist on the planet know) was caused from all the hair spray that the cavemen were using.THE END... IS NEAR