Since COMEDYZOO is all about the audio, just to be safe maybe you better JACK UP THE VOLUME or break out the head phones so you can fully enjoy wallowing in the political mud puddle that is COMEDYZOO.
Yes! COMEDYZOO has been rated number one by Washington Week in Revolt Magazine for its coverage of the way that President B. O's. limp wrists flop up and down ever so loosely as if he was riding a little Shetland donkey as he bravely comes down the stairs from Air Force One without hanging on to the railing risking catching a toe and doing an impersonation of President Ford doing an impersonation of Chevy Chase in order to show the world that he is possibly the most relaxed and confident American President from Kenya that there has ever been.
Chairman Mao Zedong says, "漢堡飽/漢堡毛 Obama 泽东/毛澤東 COMEDYZOO!!!"
Wolf Shlitsbeer says, "COMEDYZOO is the best political satire since Abbot and Saddam, or since Roland Martin's LAUGH-IN, or maybe since Kukla Fran and Chemical Ali. I wonder whatever happened to Him? He seemed nice."
Arianna HuffingGlue says, "I think that COMEDYZOO stinks. I vish they vood stop calling me Zsa Zsa Gaboring! I vill take care of zem de same vay I bumped off Arnold Schwortzinberger's microphones."
George Soros says "I think that COMEDYZOO stinks. But not as much as Arianna HuffingGlue's Hungarian goulash."
Barney Frank says, "Suffering succotash! I haven't laughed that hard since I was at the Fannie Mae Freddie Mac Massachusetts Masochistic Secret Society of the Democratic Party Boys Green Tea Party fund raiser award ceremony where John Kerry excepted the Fannie and Freddie Flaming Fraudulent Fanny Award that I was suppose to win, then fell and fractured his fanny and flambéed his freddy and then expected a purple heart."
Please Don't Feed the Progressives
You Could Get An Eye Poked Out
As we get under way with our COMEDYZOO safari, let's go over a few things that you will need to watch out for. Watch out for THE TRACKS OF THE BIG MOUTHED SATIRIST. No, they aren't animal foot prints. Get a grip. No, on the other hand, by all means, be my guest. Pretend that you're on a real safari if you want. Get a canteen and the mosquito repellant. Anyway, the tracks you are looking for are the COMEDYZOO audio tracks. They are pesky little biting recorded dittys that could, (if you are a card carrying Marxist ACORN worker and are off your medication) give you a real head ache and could make you suddenly turn beat red and get tongue tied on the topic of, "Should tax payer money be used to pay for Hillary's pedicure so she can play footsee underneath the bargaining table with Kim Jong Il, Hugo Chavez and the Iranian Mullahs?" So tighten the chin strap on your pith helmet and get ready to go waist deep in some fast moving made for radio comedy shtick, shenanigans, Tom Foolery, and satirical
parodies that rip on a virtual Rogues Gallery of Washington and Hollywood celebrities and all of your fave social and political topics. These audio comedy shorts are filled with whole bunches of junk that you just gots to have when you iz humilirating and making a mockerazation of all the peoplez that you just love to hate on. THEN, thrown in on top of the whole mess are some crazily edited sound bites that will inevitably force some poor unwitting but deserving goofball to have to explain, "That's not what I actually said Poopsee! That's just that COMEDYZOO with their Ginsu editing knife pulling a Beni-ha-ha-hanna on what's left of my reputation."
(This is believed to be the same excuse that Bill Clinton used that kept Hillary from throwing his clothes and his saxophone out on the White House lawn and making him live in a trailer out in the back of the White House with Buddy. And that was the same joke that Robin Williams stole from me word for word and used on the Tonight Show!) Also in these audio tracks, don't be alarmed if you hear some bazaar sound effects that make you think that you are listening to an out of control circus train with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi at the wheel that's filled with about half the members of congress who have the COMEDYZOO Hyenas shoveling hot coals on them as they try to skip town after cleaning out Fort Knox because they've just learned that a secret NSA investigation determined that President Obama's birth certificate is actually REAL but his father is (the self proclaimed spaceship seeing) Louis Farrakhan who is in fact a moon man from Mars which makes Prez B.O. a secret Muslim moon man Martian mulatto from Maui. His real name is, Tobaccobama the Crown Baraccoli of Mars.
Oh, as far as the whole "You Could Get An Eye Poked Out" thing. Soon we are planning to add to the web site one of those Three Stooges like springy jungle tree branches that we can pull back on and <<<THWACK! >>> you in the face with. We are very excited about this and hope to have it ready to go before we go to court for that unfortunate incident with our ADOPT A TASMANIAN DEVIL program. But I'm not really supposed to talk about that.
Take 1 medium sized elephant that has been mocking you. Cut into 1 inch chunks and brown. Boil 1 day over a burner fueled by a jumbo tank of Al Gore's Professional Bull Riders Association Dolphin Free Captured and Condensed Ego Friendly Green Rodeo Brahma Bull Gas™. Then add an acre of onions, 500 lbs. potatoes, 3 wheel barrows diced carrots and celery, one bouillon cube, 1 Holy Grail of Nancy Pelosi repellant "garlic", a couple thousand blue army helmets of tax payer funded United Nations booz. Cover and simmer until a vulture lands on your head. (Optional) Add one Frisbee load of medical marijuana if you want to risk eating a bowl and then getting in your car and pulling out of your driveway without looking and plowing into the side of GRANDPA who is on his way to the hobby shop to pick up a little brush to paint the Japanese zero that he carved out of his wooden leg that his buddy made for him IN THE P.O.W. CAMP!
Hey Henry! Just Dance... and don't bankrupt the country.
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Think you can find your way down the trail to the first exhibit "The Gallery of Shame" using the link below? Watch out for the blood sucking leaches. The big government tax and spend kind. I'll meet you there. Then after that maybe we'll cook something out of the COMEDYZOO COOKBOOK. I'll whip up something tasty, even if you're a member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) or a vegan member of ELF (those Earth Liberation Freaks). If you are a member of NAMBLA or MSNBC please turn left at the trail sign marked, "Danger! CANNABLES AHEAD!" If you are a member of P-BRAIN (that's the organization, People Bitching Relentlessly About Insane Nonsense) and you don't eat anything that was ever alive, like anything that's in the four food groups, then I'll make you a gravel smoothie.
